Tag Archives: dreams

A brief hiatus

Hello and happy Thursday. No advice column today, I’m afraid. I’m neck-deep in revising my novel and can’t spare the time for blogging, since I’m leaving for an eight day trip to Cape Town tonight and thus must be productive before vacation.

To tide you over until the next post, let me share a tiny story with you. This morning, when my husband was getting ready to leave for work and I was still lounging around in bed at the decadent hour of 7:30, he asked me, “Do you remember what you did last night?” Never a confidence-rousing question, that. I said, “No…” And he said, “You don’t remember waking up and shaking me and saying, ‘A butt! A butt!’?”

And then I remembered.

You see, last night I woke up and saw what appeared to me to be a rhinoceros butt in our bedroom. Alarmed, rightly, that there was a rhino in our room, I did the only sensible thing and shook my husband and started shrieking, “A butt! A butt! Al, look, there’s a rhino butt in our room!”

Turns out, this was the culprit:

The alleged rhino butt

The alleged rhino butt

Hey, in certain lighting, a safari hat can look like a rhino butt, okay? Anyway, apparently after a few seconds of insisting to Al that we were infested with rhinos, I realized that I was, in fact, looking at a safari hat and went back to sleep. So the situation resolved itself, really. We didn’t even have to break out the emergency tranquilizer darts.

Well, I’ll try to blog over my vacay but no promises. Hang tough.


Malarial dreams

I’m taking anti-malarials since Botswana, on top of everything else, is a malarial zone, and man, my dreams are weird.  I usually have weird dreams, and I always remember them, and I always insist on telling Al about them.  But these ones, the last few days, have been off-the-charts weird. But fun!

Last night, my dream involved stowing away on a boat AND a plane, climbing on a skyscraper on a balloon ladder, having my face turned into claymation (and attempting to take an Instagram picture of my face while it was claymation), meeting a woman with a pink-and-white leopard print face, attending LA fashion week and having to restrain a dog from walking in front of Tyra Banks (who entered on a purple horse with fake eyelashes), watching Lady Gaga perform on stilts, and seeing various other celebrities, including Selena Gomez.

Tyra smized at me

Tyra smized at me

One of my favorite details of my dream last night took place in New York (the dream took place in New York, San Francisco, LA, and the high seas).  There was a fancy children’s dentist office there that tried to make going to the dentist “fun” by staging robot/dinosaur battles in the front window of the office and then blasting out the window (movie explosion style) to entice children to come in and save the dinosaur, or whatever.  The kids would rush in and get to watch another fanciful, expensively staged battle while their teeth were being cleaned. Only in New York (in my dream).

But seriously, my dream made me want to go to fashion week. And see a Lady Gaga concert. Although, truth be told, her costumes in my dream were probably more outrageous than they could be in real life, since she was on 20-foot stilts and wearing a shiny white dress with a giant butt built in.  Actually, that sounds like a normal Lady Gaga costume, now that I’m writing it out.

Anyway, I kinda didn’t want my dream to end, but I’m up now, and slowly accepting the sad fact that I didn’t actually make eye contact with Tyra Banks or successfully cling to the bottom of an airplane as it was taxiing in order to sneak aboard. Dang.  Life can be disappointing sometimes.