Moving is the worst. And the worst of the worst? Packing. And the worst of the worst of the WORST? Packing by yourself.
These people are liars. Packing is terrible.
Packing for a move sucks because it involves taking things out of their Rightful Places and putting them into boxes, where they might be broken or bent. It involves turning a well-ordered apartment into chaos. It involves breathing in clouds of dust and dander. And it involves tough choices, like, do I keep this seven-year-old MAC lip gloss in an unflattering shade (frosty purple) because it cost $18 when I bought it (circa 2005)? I mean, $18! That’s nothing to sniff at. Especially in 2005 dollars! What am I, made of money?
I’m also facing a dilemma about what to do with all of our canned goods. I don’t have a car so I can’t take them anywhere to be donated and I would feel weird just leaving a box full o’ cans in front of my apartment door, but I can’t bear to throw away perfectly good cans of diced tomatoes. I’m part Italian, I can’t just throw away tomatoes. That’s like spitting on my heritage. I don’t know what my excuse is for not wanting to throw away the canned beets I have in my cupboard, but it just feels wrong.
I realize these concerns are objectively dumb and I should be throwing away as much as possible, but a not-insignificant chunk of me sympathizes with those people who can’t open their front door because there are too many cats in the way. Not that I’m condoning animal hoarding. But I get it — it’s hard to throw away perfectly good cats.
So, to keep my mind off the misery of this process, I’ve been listening to an excellent Canadian podcast called Stop Podcasting Yourself (http://maximumfun.org/shows/stop-podcasting-yourself) and catching up on TV shows I’ve been meaning to watch for years now (“Freaks and Geeks,” for one, and “The League”). But it’s still a slog. Tomorrow morning the movers come and whatever I have packed will have to do. The rest of it, they’ll have to pack. And there’s something weirdly intimate about having strangers pack your dishes for you, but what are you gonna do?
Kay, back to packing.