A short list of things I’ve felt guilty about as a mother

An abridged list of things I’ve felt guilty about as a mother, in no particular order:

  • Hurting my kid while clipping his or her nails
  • Letting my kid have a lollipop
  • Taking away my kid’s lollipop so she wouldn’t choke on it
  • Not potty training my almost-three-year-old
  • Not saying prayers before bedtime
  • Not saying prayers before mealtime
  • Not saying prayers ever
  • Letting my kid have the cheap plastic toy she asked for at the grocery store checkout
  • Throwing away said plastic toy a few weeks later while picturing the desiccated landfill it will likely inhabit
  • Giving up on cloth diapers with my second kid and going through approximately 75 diapers/day, plus approximately 4800 wipes/day, and once again, picturing that landfill
  • Letting my kid sit in a poopy diaper for longer than half an hour
  • Putting chocolate syrup into my kid’s medicine dropper
  • Letting my kids drink out of the same cup
  • Not talking to other moms at the park
  • Not talking to other moms at preschool pickup and dropoff
  • Not enrolling my kids in activities, lessons, or teams
  • Working
  • Not working
  • Letting my kid roll off a bed onto his head not once but TWICE
  • Having a toddler who hates vegetables, is obsessed with bread products, and loves grape Tylenol
  • Weaning my second kid at ten months when I breastfed the older one for over a year
  • Not ever learning how to wear a baby
  • Ignoring one kid while dealing with the other
  • Leaving my kids with my parents for the weekend
  • Skipping events because I’d have to bring the kids and I just don’t want to
  • Letting my kids “cry it out” during sleep training
  • Wasting money on cute but overpriced baby clothes
  • Not ever wanting to paint or do PlayDoh with my kid; I’d seriously sooner be waterboarded
  • Letting my runny-nosed kid go to school because she’s not THAT sick and I need this
  • Not washing my kids’ hands before every meal
  • Hiding my kids’ books that I hate
  • Not reading as much to my second kid as I did with my first
  • Not teaching my kids a second language
  • Wishing for time to speed up sometimes so that we could skip the chaos and go straight to the calmness

The end.

JUST KIDDING THERE ARE LIKE A MILLION MORE THINGS.

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