Category: Life (Page 6 of 8)

First(ish) World problems

On our recent trip to Mozambique, we met a lot of expats who live in other countries in southern Africa, including Mozambique and Malawi, and it made us realize, again, how (relatively) easy we have it living in Joburg. When it comes down to it, living here is a pretty cushy developing world experience. Most things work. We have electricity and hot water and fancy shopping malls. There are gyms and knitting stores and nice restaurants. And although Joburg can be irritating and slow and backwards, the annoyances we face are nothing compared to those faced by people living in less developed countries or in more rustic areas. For example, we met a Canadian woman on Ilha who lives in Pemba, in northern Mozambique, and she was telling us how the only fresh produce she can find in the entire city are beat up tomatoes, onions, and an assortment of mixed greens that look like weeds.

I would die.

Well, no, I wouldn’t, because I have lived in places like that before (see, e.g., Cuba, 2004), and it was actually fine, because you can get used to anything, and I ate a lot of ice cream, but man, I devoured vegetables like they were going out of style for weeks after I got back to the US.

Map courtesy of coha.org

We’re in the orange, hooray! (Map courtesy of coha.org)

I have thought and written about this before. A couple years ago, when I was living in Brazil, I wrote this post about all of the annoying little things that conspire to make daily life in Sao Paulo difficult. Joburg is similar; actually, I’d say Joburg is more developed than Sao Paulo in a lot of key ways. Mostly, life here is easy. We have a car so we don’t have to take the crappy (and dangerous) public transport, we eat at good restaurants, there’s plenty of fresh produce, the grocery store stocks fancy products like soy milk and pre-made curry paste, our power only goes out occasionally, and we even have cable and wireless internet.

But life here is not perfect. Things go wrong more frequently than they do back home in the States. For example, yesterday I spent my entire day – literally, from 8 am to almost 5 pm – doing errands that in the US would have taken me half the time to accomplish — except This is Africa.

First, I had to go to the post office to pick up a package. When I got to the window and presented my package notification slip, the woman asked for ID. I showed her my driver’s license and she said she needed my passport, or at least my passport number. I had neither, so I tried to call Al to get my passport number, but my phone was out of credit AND out of data, so I couldn’t email him either. The post office employee and I argued back and forth about whether or not my passport was necessary to pick up a package in my name, given that I had other forms of ID and my passport number was not in their system anyway, and the discussion ended with her avoiding eye contact and telling me to come back with my passport. The end. Next I went to the Vodacom shop to buy more credit on my phone – which, by the way, you can only purchase based on monetary value rather than on the number of minutes purchased, which makes NO SENSE, Vodacom – but the shop was closed. Then I went to the grocery store to buy some cleaning stuff, and the woman charged me for a bag, which I didn’t need since I had brought my own bag, and in order to void the approximately $.04 charge, she needed to call a manager, but the manager didn’t come, so after five minutes of the cashier trying to flag down a manager, I said forget it, just charge me for the bag, and then she tried to give me the bag but she had already loaded my stuff into the bag I brought and UGH I JUST WANTED TO SLAP EVERYONE IN THE FACE. Then I went to the doctor’s office, and the doctor was running half an hour late, because, of course. Then I came home to do the piles of laundry we had accumulated over vacation, and the washer started spewing water and soap all over the kitchen floor, so I called the plumber. The plumber came and could not fix the washer. Then, I went back to the post office with my passport and waited in a half-hour line. When I finally reached the window, not one but TWO separate people decided to walk up to the window and argue with the employee about various things. By this time it was 4:30 PM, and I still had to go to the pharmacy. When I got home at five, exhausted and annoyed and with a wet kitchen floor, I felt annoyed at how wasteful and inefficient my day had been, despite my best efforts to get things done quickly. I had barely had time to write a blog post, let alone work on other writing projects, and for what? (And our washer’s still broken, by the way.)

But this is what you sign on for when you come to live in a developing country, and the annoyances in my day are so minor compared to what people living in, say, the bush in Mpumalanga put up with day to day, it seems silly to complain. Sure, in general, life in a developing country can be more difficult, annoying, challenging, and slow than life in the cushy developed world – but that doesn’t mean it’s worse, necessarily. There are drawbacks and benefits to living in a place like South Africa. Drawbacks include things not working, power outages, slow bureaucracies, inefficiencies, and the lack of certain creature comforts. Benefits include a much lower cost of living, simplicity, experiencing a different culture, and learning patience.

I am still working on that last one.

Detox-Retox

I mentioned a few weeks ago that Al and I did a month-long booze detox, which also included elements of abstention from other temptations, including candy (for Al) and fried food/dessert/cheese (for me). I loosened up the cheese prohibition at the end because, come on, what am I, Ghandi? But I’ve stayed away from the rest, except for a few bites of an incredible mint chocolate chip Magnum ice cream bar that Al bought after a particularly taxing hike we did on Saturday – but that’s another story. Anyway, we ended the Great Detox last Wednesday and the results have been really interesting.

teetotaler

On Wednesday, after four full weeks of not letting one single drop of booze pass our lips, we decided to open a bottle of 2010 Catherine Marshall Pinot Noir, a gift from our friend Ali. We paired our oh-so classy wine with salmon steaks, quinoa beet pilaf, and Super Troopers, which my husband had somehow never seen (!!??!!), a situation which obviously needed immediate remedying. As we drank the wine, we ooh-ed and aah-ed about how delicious it was and how we had missed drinking, and so on. “Oh, wine,” we cooed, stroking the bottle, “we missed you so much. We’ll never leave you again, we promise.” Okay, we didn’t actually say that out loud, but we thought it.

And then, the next morning, I woke up and felt awwwwful: hungover, sick, tired, the works. “Damn you, wine,” I snarled, glaring at the empty bottle through slitted eyes. “A curse upon your house!!!” Okay, I didn’t say that, either. And I realize that cursing a wine bottle’s house doesn’t make sense. But I was upset!

The next day was a holiday (“Human Rights Day”) and we attended a long-scheduled celebratory lunch with Al’s boss and colleagues to mark the end of a challenging project at work. Champagne was popped, and the waiter refilled everyone’s glasses several times. And, again, to my surprise, I felt like total crap after drinking. My energy was sapped, I was vaguely nauseated, and I regretted drinking any bubbly at all. This was sad for me, because I used to love a good day drink. But I was starting to realize that things might have changed for me.

Continuing my experiment, the next night, we went to dinner with a friend and then to Cirque du Soleil. I had two glasses of red wine and felt okay the next day. On Saturday night, we went to a comedy show and I had one glass of red wine, and I felt perfectly fine the next day. Are you starting to see a pattern here? Let me spell it out for you: when I drink less, I feel better.

This was a revelation.

Al and I concluded that our month of sobriety had essentially reset our livers, such that now we can tolerate much less booze than before — and this is probably a good thing. I don’t know why this never occurred to me before, but I think one to two glasses of wine for a night out is probably enough for me. Who’d’a thunk?? I guess li’l Stephanie is growing up.  Don’t get me wrong, Al and I will never be teetotalers – we love and appreciate wine too much – but I think from now on we’ll be consuming booze less frequently and in smaller amounts — and savoring it.

So, we’ll see what happens. But for now, in the spirit of appreciating alcohol, please enjoy this clip from Father Ted, our favorite priest-focused Irish comedy, about when Father Jack goes to AA by mistake.

DRINK!

Rediscovering knitting

The latest news from these parts: I’ve finished my novel and I am now officially a knitting addict. Yes, that’s right, I sent my novel off to a few agents this week (huzzah!), and although I have a few other projects going on at the moment, I suddenly have WAY more time than I used to, and knitting is filling that gap quite nicely. Quite nicely, indeed.

I learned how to knit as a kid from my mom, who is a very accomplished knitter, and who learned at the feet of a Knitter Extraordinaire, my grandmother. My grandmother is seriously the best knitter in the world, you guys. I think part of it is being Irish – it’s in their blood to cook a mean potato and knit a mean sweater – but she’s also just talented. She knits little clothes for teddy bears and tiny little Christmas stocking earrings, she felts purses, and she can knit up a cardigan while drinking a cup of tea, doing a crossword puzzle, having a conversation, and watching TV. I aspire to this, but I am not there yet. For now, I can knit while watching — okay, listening to — TV, and sometimes while having a conversation, but if the pattern gets complicated, I have to stop and stare really hard at the pattern and then stare really hard at the knitting, and swear a little bit, and this tends to derail the conversation. Luckily, Al doesn’t mind.

My motivation for picking up knitting again was that I needed something to do that was creative but not creative in the same way that writing is. With knitting, you are creating something with your hands, in the sense that you are bringing something into being, but you’re not inventing the pattern (at least, I’m not!) so it’s not taxing in the same way that writing is. When I write, I have to dredge things up from the depths of my brain, examine them, perhaps throw them back, dredge again, put the remains on paper, and then shape and perfect them until they are presentable. When I knit, I just have to follow a pattern and try not to eff it up.

I decided to relearn the knitting basics by doing a lot of sample swatches out of a book called Fearless Knitting Workbook. I highly recommend the book for the patterns but not necessarily for its instruction; I think the author has a super confusing way of explaining the basics. For clear instructions on technique, I recommend Vogue Knitting: The Ultimate Knitting Book (unbeatable) and the excellent Stitch ‘n bitch, The Knitter’s Handbook. Anyway, I worked my way through some of the swatch projects in Fearless Knitting to refresh myself on some techniques (stitches, decreases, increases, reading a pattern, binding off, etc.). I also relied on YouTube, which is a veritable smorgasbord of knitting videos. Overall, I was pretty happy with my learning curve.

My precious(es)

My precious(es)

In the photo above, the swatch in the upper right was my first effort, and it was, as one would expect, meh. The one in the upper left was my second attempt, which was better. The one in the bottom left was my third swatch – a proud Canadian maple leaf with some mistakes, but the pattern was crazy, give me a break – and the one on the bottom right is a dishtowel I made by knitting on the diagonal, if that makes sense. After doing these four swatches, I felt ready for the big time, so I decided to start on a pattern for a cowl. This is what my project looks like so far:

IMG_2596 IMG_2598First of all, let’s all agree right now that this yarn is the bomb. It’s from Japan, it’s called Noro, and I’m so obsessed with it, I want to marry it. Second of all, the cowl is going well – I learned how to slip stitches and do a cable cast-on, as well as some other schmancy techniques, but guess what? Turns out as I was knitting away on my circular needles, feeling like a boss, my cowl was becoming twisted on the needles and I didn’t notice. So when it’s done, it’s going to be what Al refers to as a “mobius scarf.” Sigh. Oh, well. This is all for the sake of learning, you see.

My next projects will be a beret for me and a cool knit beanie for Al. I can hardly wait to go to my local knitting store tomorrow. It’s called Arthur Bales and it’s adorable. Here’s a picture I took of the outside:

IMG_2547

 

Precious! I also love that all of the employees are grandmas who know their way around a ball of yarn. It’s everything I want a knitting store to be: a little bit old-fashioned, a little bit disorganized, and filled with old ladies and yarn. What more do you want?

Anyway, if you can’t tell, I am Jessie-Spano-levels-of-jazzed about knitting these days. I look forward to it, it brings me joy, and I think it’s something I am going to be doing for the rest of my life. Beware friends and family: you are all receiving things made out of yarn this year for Christmas.

 

Sound advice Thursday: Where should we live?

Dear Steph,

I live with my fiancee in a city where I am not happy but we both have jobs. I have been offered a job in another city where I previously lived and was much happier; however, it would be fairly difficult for my fiancee to find a job there. I’m fine with supporting her because I love her, but I worry that she will be unfulfilled in this new city without a job. Even though my career will be better and I will be happier, I worry that we will be weaker as a couple because she’ll be unhappy, resentful, etc. Obviously, this is a complex issue with a lot of considerations, but based on what I’ve written, what do you suggest?

Sincerely,

Rock vs. Hard Place

"Rock, Hard Place" Road Sign with dramatic clouds and sky.

Dear RVHP,

This is a toughie. I don’t know your situation beyond the slim paragraph that you’ve written me, but here are the basic facts as I see them:

1. Right now you both have jobs but one of you is unhappy;

2. If you move, only one of you will have a job and one of you may be unhappy.

Based on these barest of facts, it seems that your current situation might be better than the future situation — but then again, it might not. The problem is that so much is unknowable here. Will your fiancee be able to get a job in the new city? If not, will she definitely be unhappy? How long will you live in the new city? Will you definitely be happier there? What if your job there falls through?

Given all the uncertainties, it’s impossible to predict what the final result will be. So, since I can’t tell you what to do based on predictions about the future, I’ll just suggest some factors to consider as you think things over.

1. Jobs are hard to get. Right now you both have jobs, but if you move, only one of you will have guaranteed employment. Can both of you survive comfortably on one salary? Do you want to? Does she want to?

2. Jobs are important. Some people thrive on a fast-paced career. Others (ahem, me) are fine with leaving prestige behind but still need to have satisfying, fulfilling work. But pretty much everyone needs to feel that their days have value. It may seem fun now for your fiancee to be a stay-at-home-lady, with no job and no responsibilities, but I suspect the fun of that will wear off quickly and she will want to find something – a job or volunteer work or a project – to occupy her time and make her feel like she has a purpose. Consider how long an arrangement in which you work and she sits around the house, bored, will be sustainable, and what types of opportunities are available to her in the new city.

This probably won't be your fiancee's life.

This will get old.

3. Relationships are a two-way street. Despite what ABC’s The Bachelor would have us believe, in actual relationships, both parties have an equal say in where the couple will live and work. In the Bachelor, the lead always picks his fiancee based on whether or not she’s willing to drop everything and move to his hometown and “fit into his life,” as if she were a lamp or a duvet cover. Turns out, real relationships don’t work this way, and thus, you and your fiancee need to talk – a lot – and figure out an arrangement that will work for both of you. It’s the truth that committed relationships involve compromise; in fact, I wrote here about the balancing act my husband and I achieved when we decided to come to South Africa for his job. As it turns out, before we moved here, we were both afraid that I’d be unhappy, isolated in a city with a bad reputation. As it turns out, though, my husband is the one who has struggled more here. As I said before, you just don’t know how these things are going to turn out before they happen, which is why it’s important to talk and understand one another’s needs.

4. Flexibility is key. It’s important for your fiancee to know that she — not the job or the city — is your first priority and that if things are horrible for her in the new city, you’ll listen to her and figure out together a way to make things better, whether that means moving back to the old city, or commuting, or living apart, or whatever works for both of you. This is how you will prevent resentment from creeping in to your relationship: by listening, compromising, and realizing that human relationships are The Most Important Thing in life, period, and that sometimes, other things might need to fall by the wayside to make those relationships work.

I realize this advice might sound a bit vague, but hopefully you can use it to spark a conversation with your fiancee about what you both want, and to feel your way toward a workable compromise.

Good luck!

~ Steph

Lady of Leisure

Yesterday I took a break from writing. Well, not entirely. I wrote a blog post in the morning, and then frittered away an hour reading blogs and news, and then I went to the gym, and then I got a pedicure and had lunch with a friend. And then I came back home and thought, What shall I do now?

The reason I took the break from writing was because the previous evening, I had finished the latest round of revisions on my novel and had sent it to one of my readers/critics to look over before I did anything drastic, like send the manuscript off to agents. Now that my revisions were done, at least for the moment, I didn’t feel like writing anything, but I also didn’t feel like just sitting there, useless. I had to think of something to do.

I thought, Maybe I’ll pick up my knitting again. I have some nice knitting books and I figured I could do some knitting exercises and practice a bit before attempting to dive into the world of sweaters and bunnies. I searched our apartment and realized that I had not actually brought my knitting needles to South Africa. I brought the knitting books, but not the knitting implements. Which is like me, really.

Then I thought, Maybe I’ll read. But I read every day, a lot. All the time. I had just spent my entire pedicure reading (and ignoring the pedicurist’s snarky comments about my dry heels). A crossword puzzle? I do those every day, too, when I watch TV or listen to podcasts. Watch TV? Too defeatist. Cook? It’s 3:45 pm. Go for a walk? I live in Johannesburg, so that’s not gonna work. Go to the gym? Already did that.

Photo on 2012-07-29 at 14.15

Sigh.

The problem is, there’s this urge in me to always be doing something, to always be busy, to always be thinking. It’s hard to suppress it. At times when there is genuinely nothing for me to do – for example, when I am waiting for feedback on my manuscript – I feel that I must occupy these quiet periods with something useful, or at least creative, or else I am just taking up space, and then what good am I? Point being, I could definitely never be a Lady of Leisure. I would go bonkers. I’d probably end up institutionalized by how bonkers I’d go. But I realize, of course, that this is a good problem to have: deciding how to pass my afternoon when there are no demands on me. But, to be honest, it’s a struggle.

Eventually, I decided to compromise by watching Brideshead Revisited (the 1981 miniseries with Jeremy Irons, not the ghastly movie version with Michael Gabon – the horror!) and doing a crossword puzzle. Not exactly what you’d call productive, but at least I’m not watching The E True Hollywood Story: Lindsay Lohan (again). Eventually, I ended up planning and cooking dinner. I made this, one of my all-time favorite Middle Eastern dishes, which I used to chow down on with some frequency when I lived in Detroit. It turned out well, but next time I’d add sultanas, I think.

Anyway. I really wish I had brought my knitting needles.

A brief hiatus

Hello and happy Thursday. No advice column today, I’m afraid. I’m neck-deep in revising my novel and can’t spare the time for blogging, since I’m leaving for an eight day trip to Cape Town tonight and thus must be productive before vacation.

To tide you over until the next post, let me share a tiny story with you. This morning, when my husband was getting ready to leave for work and I was still lounging around in bed at the decadent hour of 7:30, he asked me, “Do you remember what you did last night?” Never a confidence-rousing question, that. I said, “No…” And he said, “You don’t remember waking up and shaking me and saying, ‘A butt! A butt!’?”

And then I remembered.

You see, last night I woke up and saw what appeared to me to be a rhinoceros butt in our bedroom. Alarmed, rightly, that there was a rhino in our room, I did the only sensible thing and shook my husband and started shrieking, “A butt! A butt! Al, look, there’s a rhino butt in our room!”

Turns out, this was the culprit:

The alleged rhino butt

The alleged rhino butt

Hey, in certain lighting, a safari hat can look like a rhino butt, okay? Anyway, apparently after a few seconds of insisting to Al that we were infested with rhinos, I realized that I was, in fact, looking at a safari hat and went back to sleep. So the situation resolved itself, really. We didn’t even have to break out the emergency tranquilizer darts.

Well, I’ll try to blog over my vacay but no promises. Hang tough.

 

Malarial dreams

I’m taking anti-malarials since Botswana, on top of everything else, is a malarial zone, and man, my dreams are weird.  I usually have weird dreams, and I always remember them, and I always insist on telling Al about them.  But these ones, the last few days, have been off-the-charts weird. But fun!

Last night, my dream involved stowing away on a boat AND a plane, climbing on a skyscraper on a balloon ladder, having my face turned into claymation (and attempting to take an Instagram picture of my face while it was claymation), meeting a woman with a pink-and-white leopard print face, attending LA fashion week and having to restrain a dog from walking in front of Tyra Banks (who entered on a purple horse with fake eyelashes), watching Lady Gaga perform on stilts, and seeing various other celebrities, including Selena Gomez.

Tyra smized at me

Tyra smized at me

One of my favorite details of my dream last night took place in New York (the dream took place in New York, San Francisco, LA, and the high seas).  There was a fancy children’s dentist office there that tried to make going to the dentist “fun” by staging robot/dinosaur battles in the front window of the office and then blasting out the window (movie explosion style) to entice children to come in and save the dinosaur, or whatever.  The kids would rush in and get to watch another fanciful, expensively staged battle while their teeth were being cleaned. Only in New York (in my dream).

But seriously, my dream made me want to go to fashion week. And see a Lady Gaga concert. Although, truth be told, her costumes in my dream were probably more outrageous than they could be in real life, since she was on 20-foot stilts and wearing a shiny white dress with a giant butt built in.  Actually, that sounds like a normal Lady Gaga costume, now that I’m writing it out.

Anyway, I kinda didn’t want my dream to end, but I’m up now, and slowly accepting the sad fact that I didn’t actually make eye contact with Tyra Banks or successfully cling to the bottom of an airplane as it was taxiing in order to sneak aboard. Dang.  Life can be disappointing sometimes.

2013

Happy new year to all my readers, friends, family, and people who clicked on this accidentally!

Well, guys, we made it. Here we are in 2013. The world didn’t end after all. Which means from here on out, I’m definitely going to take everything the ancient Mayans say with a huge grain of salt.   The whole heart-eating thing? I’m really reconsidering that now.

Anyway.  2012 was a big year for me. In chronological order, the following things happened in my life:

  1. I started a manuscript of a novel
  2. I got married
  3. I quit a terrible, no-good-for-me job
  4. I got typhoid fever (but recovered!)
  5. I moved to South Africa
  6. I finished a manuscript of a novel (huzzah!)
  7. I went to Italy with my parents and Al
  8. The world didn’t end

All in all, not bad.  I know 2012 was sort of a stinker of a year globally. Bad things happened to a lot of people: wars, hurricanes, unexpected celebrity divorces (I’m looking at you, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett), fiscal cliffs, and, most disturbingly, a decision by Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to reproduce. With each other.  God help us all.  But for me, overall, 2012 was great.

I got to go to Capri in 2012.

For example: I got to go to Capri in 2012.  Sigh!

The passage into the new year was rather anti-climactic for me this year.  I spent New Year’s Eve on an 11-hour Lufthansa flight from Frankfurt to Joburg.  At midnight the flight attendants handed out glasses of sparkling wine and the pilot counted down from ten in German. Which was fun!  And it’s the first New Year’s Day in recent memory where I haven’t woke up hungover, so I feel very adult and responsible.  Right now Al is making bread and later we’re going to get New Year’s “sundowners” at some fancy hotel nearby.  Aren’t we grown-up!

Anyway, instead of boring you with my many New Year’s resolutions, I’ll keep this short and wish everyone a happy, healthy, and non-apocalyptic 2013.  Feliz ano novo, amigos!

Christmas comfort food

Since the much-hyped Mayan apocalypse failed to materialize today, I can finally look forward to Christmas! I mean, just as soon as I clear out a space in my doomsday bunker where I’ve stockpiled canned foods, weaponry, and a Nibiru-English dictionary, I’ll be able to hunker down and enjoy my favorite part of the Christmas season: movies, music, and TV.

So here, good people, is a brief list of my favorite non-edible Christmas comfort foods, in case you’re looking to expand your Christmas horizons this year.  Let’s start with music.

My Christmas playlist

          • O Holy Night.  I love this song, but I’m very picky about it – it must be sung by a children’s choir. If an adult man is singing this song, I will not enjoy it. For my money, it doesn’t get better than the version in Home Alone, which you can find here.  However, even better than that is our dog, Dougal, singing along to that version.  This happened as I was writing this blog post, by the way.

  • Breath of Heaven, by Amy Grant.  This is a religious song (it’s Amy Grant, after all) and it’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s sung from the perspective of Mary, which is different from most of your standard, ho-hum, Santa-and-Jesus Christmas songs.
  • The entire Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, by Vince Guaraldi.  If you don’t already own this, please do yourself a favor and purchase it immediately. It’s a classic.  Also, watch the movie.
  • All I Want for Christmas Is You, by Mariah Carey.  I mean, come on.  It’s Mariah. And yes, I like the new version with Jimmy Fallon and The Roots.
  • Miracle of Love, by the Eurythmics.  I’m not sure if this is actually a Christmas song, but it puts me in a festive mood, even though it is objectively depressing. I also love the Eurythmics’ There Must be an Angel, because of this Disney video, which I watched on repeat as a child.  I understand that logically, I should associate this song with Valentine’s Day, but you know what? Festive is festive.

      • River, by Sarah McLachlan.  Wow, is it just me, or is my Christmas playlist sort of dark?  Yikes.  Let’s move on.

Christmas movies and TV episodes

  •  National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. I watch this every year with my parents and it never gets old.  It features a truly all-star cast, including Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Juliette Lewis, Randy Quaid, Brian Doyle Murray, and Johnny Galecki. It also contains one of my family’s favorite lines: “Clark! Slow down! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead.”  We say this to each other often.
  • Home Alone.  A sweet classic.  And the tarantula scene? I die. Every time.
  • Breakfast With Scot. If I can do one thing in this life of mine, I hope I can spread love for this truly charming little Canadian film about hockey, a gay kid, and two reluctant gay dads.  I feel like the trailer does not do it justice, but it’s heartwarming, funny, Christmassy, and cute, and it features Tom Cavanagh, who I’ve already mentioned on this blog as being one half of one of my favorite podcasts, Mike and Tom Eat Snacks.  Ugh, please just watch it, it’s awesome.

          • A Christmassy Ted.  This is the Christmas special of my favorite (now defunct) Irish comedy, Father Ted.  The premise of Father Ted is that three misfit priests are banished to a windswept island off the west coast of Ireland (the aptly named “Craggy Island”).  Father Ted has dreams of being rich and famous, Father Jack is a gross, largely inarticulate drunk, and Father Dougal is an idiot.  They get into all sorts of hilarious adventures, but the Christmas special is particularly funny.  I’ve gotten Al into Father Ted over the years and this is now one of our all-time favorite jokes – how to break the news of a death:

“Remember how your husband used to love a good laugh?”

  • The Snowman.  This is just straight-up beautiful, and the song Walking in the Air brings a tear to my crusty old eye.

          What can I say, I have a thing for boys’ choirs.  Also, the movie is introduced by David Bowie, who apparently did a lot of acting in children’s films in the 80s (Labyrinth, anyone?).

Well, I could go on and on about Christmas gems but I don’t want to lose you guys.  Check out some of my picks and let me know what you think.  Merry Christmas and happy Not-End-of-the-World!

 

Pinterest

Bad news: I’m sick.  I think I’ve run my immune system down with too much rich food, booze, and exposure to my crazy family.  (Sorry, family.  But you know you’re crazy.  This is news to no one.)  Anyway, I woke up yesterday with a sore throat, headache, and cough, and the situation has deteriorated.  This means that today I’m overloading on tea, Emergen-c, and reruns of What Not To Wear.  I’m also distracting myself with Pinterest.

You guys know what Pinterest is, I’m sure.  It’s one of the most mindlessly addictive websites I’ve encountered in, well, ever.  Unlike Facebook, I never run out of things to look at on Pinterest.  Unlike Twitter, Pinterest requires no reading.  Or thinking.  Or processing.  You can just sit there and pin, pin, pin. Mindless.  Comforting.  Wonderful.

Except I got up almost three hours ago and I’ve done literally nothing all morning except pin.  And the thing is, am I ever going to make or buy or do any of these things I’m pinning?  Like, what are the odds I am going to make these butterfinger and cookie dough cheesecake bars?  Or this sock dog? Or this bracelet?  I mean, I’d have to buy beads.  And string.  Come on.

Am I gonna make this? Probably not. But maybe.

Am I gonna make this? Probably not. But maybe.

But there’s something nice about pretending that I’m going to do all of this stuff.  The thing is, before I quit my job at the law firm, I always thought that when I started writing, I’d have tons of free time to, like, upcycle filing cabinets.  Turns out, that is not the case.  Even when I finish my writing obligations fairly early in the day, I don’t really feel like “creating” anything more ambitious than dinner for me and Al.  Maybe this is because I use up my creative energy writing, but when I’m done, I kinda just feel like sitting on the couch and doing a crossword puzzle, or reading a book, or watching something stupid on TV.  I mean, more power to these people who spend their free time upcycling things and making animals out of socks, but that’s not realistic for me.

Oh, well.  Maybe today I’ll motivate and finally get around to making that tee-shirt shopping bag I’ve been meaning to make for all these years.  Or maybe not.

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